My Dearest Bros Orville and Wilbur,
Without post-ponement, allow me to convey to you my heartiest congratulations on the invention of flying. Such an achievement is indisputably Straight. Up. Bad. Ass. To wit, your inspired revision of the lift equation’s Smeaton Coefficient. Clutch!
But in my enthusiasm I am dis-courteous; it is right I should introduce myself. I am Silas Jeptha Ulysses Gable III, but most of those with whom I am acquainted refer to me simply as CrayTrey. Gentlebros, I put pen to paper this hour with purpose: to kindly request that you, dear fucking studs, will attend, with your dope-ass flying machine, an upcoming massive fete I am to host and which I have tentatively titled: “Aviators; & Sluts!!!”